Even though I’ve only been going with Jordan for just over 2 weeks, what happened yesterday made me realise how much he actually means to me, how much I depend on him and how much he’s stopped me from doing silly things. It was my fault, I’m not going to deny it or even try too, so if I lost him yesterday or if I ever do, I would of had only myself to blame. He says he’s forgiven me and I’m never going to loose him and I have nothing to worry about. Even though he’s forgiven me, I haven’t forgiven myself and thinking about it, makes me want to break down again. But I can’t stop thinking about it at the moment. Even when I worried before that i’d loose him, I’m now worrying 3 times as more because he now has a reason if he wanted to go.

I didn’t realise I would find someone again. I know I’m only 16 but I’m a right dramatic bitch. I’m going to tell Jordan to read this later and hopefully he’ll try to make me smile cos at the moment, I’m sad for what I did yesterday and seriously can’t cheer up.

I feel so sorry for her. Especially after seeing how much pain she was in yesterday. I could have cried. I’m only off because she’s not meant to be by herself for 72 hours. shes not meant to leave the house for about a week cos she could catch an infection. But she has anyway, to come to uni or she’ll fail her modula. So, I’m sitting in the uni library, internet shopping whilst shes in a lecture doing a debate.

I’m hungry and getting bored too -___-